The Boring Days, Troogblog

Thoughts on love | #troogblog 007

Current mood: Say (All I Need) by OneRepublic

Hello my friends, welcome back. It’s time for us to peep into our girls’ life once again. Let’s start by announcing that she’s been flirting with her forgotten past, unearthing old loves and admitting to herself that maybe, just maybe, she’s still in love with her first and only love.

I say “maybe” because it might be just the need to feel, or Valentine’s Day getting into her skin -less probable, though-. The fact is she’s been thinking about love, pondering on the possibility of digging it all out, give her whole self again to that old connu -knowing she’ll get hurt… again-. She has no more goofy stares or muted words or red-coloured cheeks or bouncing heart to give as love proof. The only thing left is her pride, her admitting that the feelings are still there, her jealousy, her “wanna see you again”, the dreaded “I’m not over you after all these years”.

I’ve reached to some conclusions myself. I think most people don’t know what love really means. Neither do I, of course, but I do believe that we’ve failed in matching love and freedom on the same sentence. We want the other person to be ours, to have a tag with our name on it, exclusivity. Our way of loving is the pure essence of insecurity. Why can’t we see ourselves in terms of moments? Imagine a world were you give yourself to the person in front of you, whoever that is. You devote your senses to the moment.

In that imaginary world, when you finally get to be with your loved one, you’ll give it all, instead of that give and take game we are all so used to play. You won’t be scared of delivering your heart, of expressing whatever it is that you are feeling because you are not supposed to call it love if you restraint. The best part of all is:  no more jealousy. You won’t expect anything from your loved one. The key word here is share, you’ll share a moment, an instant together by choice, not by obligation or expectations or entitlements.

You need two free people for that world, of course. Which means that you have to give it all but also know when to run from harm and selfishness and insecurities in case the other one is locked in conventional love.

I, the woman whose life we are peeping into, am going to try to make that world a reality. That means letting the loved one choose his moments and company. Enjoying the time we both decide to share together without expectations and making art of each of my moments, regardless of the company. I know what you’re thinking: moments are special because of that person. Wrong, it’s easier that way, but that just means you’ll have to try harder to compensate the loved one’s absence.

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Poetry, Troogblog

A broken heart | #troogblog 005

So much has happened, so little has been done. A couple of days ago, she discovered she was still in love, the same old love. Or else it wouldn’t hurt at all. Her wound has had a long time to heal, so the pain didn’t stayed that long. She wasn’t too surprised by the news. It is what it is. Pigs will always be pigs.

The good side of the story is that inspiration knocked on her door again. She wrote, she drew, she’s just missing a song. Soon.

Here I leave you a small piece of her poetry. Read aloud, drink some wine, play some Handel, take your time.

Once

You were once my love
Once, I was your lover
Heart misunderstood
Burning undercovered

Coal dust in your hands
Unexpected bloom
Fly, sky, wings
Sink, mud, boots

Dress my despair
Lusty reflection
Touches unconquered
Battle unnamed

Sour old wine
Uncraving temptation
Again seems a whisper
No kiss, automate

Once, you were my love
Aztec marigolds
Creaking playground’s cover
I was once your lover

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BIY

The Beauty Of Prejudice

How would you define prejudice? For me it is that notion of knowing what’s behind the looks of someone you meet for the very first time. It’s letting your previous experiences, your knowledge, background and intuition to determine what you indeed couldn’t possibly know. The most important of all: it is an involuntary response.

Usually, prejudice is considered a bad thing since we shouldn’t get carried away by preconceptions. Don’t get me wrong, I agree. Not being able to control the arise of prejudices is one thing, but allowing them to dictate the way you conduct amongst others is to limit yourself.

But I’m not here to write about the obvious

My family has a small business. I was helping the other day at the cash register when an old lady came in carrying what seemed to be her grandchild. Her clothes were shabby. She walked around for a while and asked for some information. I gave it to her, of course, but I must confess I addressed her out of mere politeness since I didn’t think she would actually buy a thing. After a while, she left the place. I knew it. Ten minutes later, lady comes back and makes the biggest purchase of the day.

Another time, I met this pretty-eyes guy. We were about to travel to another state together (plus a couple of friends) and we didn’t even knew each other. He was nice and outgoing, but kind of goofy and nerdy. In my mind, he was a wanna be intellectual, a fraud. Can’t describe it quite well, but something in his manners, in his smart-sounding fillers and his philosophical points of view… he was trying too hard.

On our ride bus back, we ended up sitting next to each other and suddenly the magic began. Not in a romantic-love kind of way, I’m talking about the fulfilling pleasure of a great conversation. Somehow we began sharing thoughts on travel. His intellectual airs didn’t surprise me anymore, most people feel kings of the world after strolling a bit round the globe -it happened to me too-. But, my mind was taken aback when he started his story of the time he half-crossed Mexico and Central America on a bicycle. He really knew interesting things when most of the time we are surrounded by snobs. Anyways, that conversation was definitely worth my sleep (we talked from 12 am til we fell asleep at about 3 am).

What I’m trying to say is that without my prejudice, neither of both events could have awed me so. I love people and experiences that destroy my prejudices, it’s my favorite kind of surprises. That’s the same reason why I try to destroy other people’s preconceptions too. It’s a learning process, and I hope someday it will become a learning cycle. I dream of the day that we all live such rich experiences and epiphanies that sharing meaningful conversations becomes the norm and not just a stroke of good luck.

Thanks for reading. Wish you all a weekend of prejudice destruction 😉

Peace, love, fire,

Angie Troog 🔥


Don’t forget to subscribe and share whatever you feel should be shared with your loved ones. Let me know what you think in the comments and hit the Like Button if you did like this xD. See you on Monday!

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BIY

The Perks Of Being Normal

It’s been said that the perfect hero of a good story is either an extraordinary human on an ordinary environment, or an ordinary human facing extraordinary circumstances. But what happens when you are just a normal dude with zero trouble in your life, ordinary facing the ordinary?

The most interesting people I’ve met have gone through really tough moments. You see, humans grow via solving problems: the more you face, the more you learn, the more unique anecdotes you have to share. So at first, when I figured this out, I cursed my good luck! I wasn’t struggling with money, I did well at school, my parents loved (and love) me, I didn’t grow at a dangerous neighborhood, etc. Everything was too smooth but couldn’t do much about it.

Then, I cursed my mediocrity. I was into every activity you could possibly think but didn’t stand out in any of them. I didn’t focus, didn’t grind, weren’t disciplined enough. I used to quit as soon as I got bored. Bottom line: I was average as hell.

One day, it hit me

That was actually my problem! I needed to find a way to create my own growing opportunities amid “average”. I also realized that was why most people overreact and create their own dramas over the stupidest things sometimes: how else can such monotony be bared?

But if we can create our own disasters, I might as well make it worth it. I wasn’t gonna settle for lovers quarrels or boring gossips or classic pregnancy. I wanted real never-seen-before fire, and this beautiful blog amongst a bunch of other also-beautiful things going on in my life are due to that blaze.

So even if your life is as normal and boring as mine was, you can switch it up as soon as you decide to take the boredom as a challenge. Be brave, find the right spices for you, upgrade your flavour…

And remember: not everyone can handle hot sauce 😉

Peace, love, fire,

Angie Troog


Make sure you like and subscribe. Comments are welcome too! We have a date on Friday, 11:11 sharp 🙂 (Mexico City time).

 

 

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BIY

Don’t Be Just A Statistic

Everyday I see a million faces in this beautiful but overpopulated city. Most of them, if not all, will fade away just a few minutes later (I’d be the worst secret agent ever). Then it hits me: average equals insignificant. Inspirational quotes repeat over and over again how everybody is special and unique. The truth is all human beings were born to be special, but they rarely are.

The reason why I say this is because standing out -for the vast majority- is not part of our default mode. We actually choose to personalize our features in order to shine. Statistical experts think of humans as numbers, they abstract them to simplify their work. When a person fits into statistical patterns, he/she turns into something simple, easy to figure out and with little magic to offer to the world. It’s no longer a person but just an abstraction of one.

I don’t wanna be a number. I wanna be carved in the memory of time itself. I choose to be complex. I refuse to be statistic. But how? What can I do after making that choice?

What I’ve noticed on all of those faces I mentioned before is lack of passion, insecurity (even self-loathe), absence and repetition. But the main characteristic is a look without purpose. They seem to live just because they breath, not because they want to. An automated existance.

That said, the answer to my own question is to find a worth-dying-for purpose, walk your own path, be present and be passionate about every single moment of your life, and for that, you must create the most amazing ones each day. Just burn, burn, burn!

Make sure you subscribe! And please let me know if you liked this 🙂 Until Wednesday!

Peace, love, fire,

Angie Troög

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